you took a part of me, a part that i feel i’m never going to be able to give anyone else.. i feel like you took something and never gave it back. you changed me, you ruined me.

good friday night, i think so :)

sometimes i still wish we would’ve ran away together when you asked me too…

i love you so much, always<3 

 he finally played me song. it was perfect, i can’t even explain. i love ian so much<3 i really do.

tonight was great. i love you my boyfriend<3

    ian,

    i miss how things used to be.. the first 4 or 5 months, when we we’re always together. when i would spend most of my time with you.. and even if i couldn’t, i’d still see you at school and i’d be happy. i remember how weird it felt when you changed schools.. it was like i never noticed how important you where, until you weren’t there anymore. after you went to sycamore it was weird.. it was harder to find ways to see each other, but we still did it. the last 2 or 3 months though.. i don’t know. it’s not the same. i hardly ever see you.. it’s not your fault, it’s more like a mix of a bunch of different things. idk.. i remember you used to call me in the middle of the night, we used to talk for hours. i miss that.. you hardly ever call anymore. i know you love me, like honestly i do and i love you too, but it’d be nice if you reminded me more often. i want to spend more time with you, hopefully that happens this summer.. because there’s nothing that makes me happier than being with you. i love you.                                               

                                                                                                        love,

                                                                                                        emma.

Graduated High School.
Kissed someone.
Smoked cigarettes.
Got so drunk you passed out.
Rode every ride at an amusement park.
Collected something really stupid.
Gone to a rock concert.
Helped someone.
Gone fishing.
Watched four movies in one night.
Gone long periods of time with out sleep.
Lied to someone.
Snorted cocaine.
Failed a class.
Smoked weed.
Dealt drugs.
Taken a college level course.
Been in a car accident.
Been in a tornado.
Done hard drugs (i.e. ecstasy, heroin, crack, meth, acid).
Watched someone die.
Been to a funeral.
Burned yourself.
Ran a marathon.
Your parents got divorced.
Cried yourself to sleep.
Spent over $200 in one day.
Flown on a plane.
Cheated on someone. 
Been cheated on.
Written a 10 page letter.
Gone skiing.
Been sailing.
Cut yourself.
Had a best friend.
Lost someone you loved.
Shoplifted something.
Been to jail.
Dangerously close to being in jail.
Had detention.
Skipped school.
Got in trouble for something you didn’t do.
Stolen books from the library.
Gone to a different country.
Dropped out of school.
Been in a mental hospital.
Watched the “Harry Potter” movies.
Had an online diary.
Fired a gun.
Gambled in a casino.
Had a yard sale.
And a lemonade stand.
Actually made money at the lemonade stand.
Been in a school play.
Been fired from a job.
Taken a lie detector test. 
Swam with dolphins.
Gone to Sea World.
Voted for someone on a reality TV show.
Written poetry.
Read more than 20 books a year.
Gone to Europe.
Loved someone you couldn’t have.
Wondered about your sexuality.
Used a coloring book over age 12.
Had surgery. 
Had stitches.
Taken a taxi.
Seen the Washington Monument.
Had more than 5 IM’s/online conversations going at once.
Overdosed.
Had a drug or alcohol problem.
Been in a fist fight.
Suffered any form of abuse/trauma.
Had a hamster.
Pet a wild animal.
Used a credit card.
Gone surfing in California.
Did “Spirit Day” at school.
Dyed your hair.
Got a tattoo.
Had something pierced.
Got straight A’s.
Been on the Honor Roll.
Known someone with HIV or AIDS.
Taken pictures with a webcam.
Started a fire.
Gotten caught having a party while parents were gone away.

 i almost forgot what i was like to cry myself to sleep. ):

that stupid feeling in my chest is backk..

i hate how i freak out, when it’s probably nothing.

i’m so scared to lose him though.. he means so much to me..

i love you alot. like so fucking much, you have no idea. you probably never will. i’m happy i finally saw you.. i mean i hadn’t seen you in like a weeek, but at the same time idk. it makes me so fucking sad to say bye and this time i only got to see you for a minute.. it’s okay thought. we’ll see each other? idk when but i hope it’s soon. it’s hard when you’re not there /: i love you, remember that. i love you.